Fogo De KAO

Oh man, Brazilian Churrascaria, aka Brazilian BBQ, is probably the greatest invention on earth next to the internet. Native Brazilians called it "Gaucho" Grill, Americans called it "BBQ", I called it "Orgasm".

There are a few grill houses around, but none compares to Fogo De Chao
in restaurant row on La Cienega Blvd. Food is served all-you-can-eat style by giving each individual a "signal marker". Its simple, the double-sided marker has the colors red and green, red = no more food, green = keep going (see pic).

Approximately once a month I showcase my talent at Fogo De Chao. I actually have never seen the red marker on my table, meat just pours on my plate like those frogs fell from the sky in "Magnolia". Filet Mignon wrapped in bacon, WHAT? The waiter asked if I would like to try the Filet Mignon wrapped in bacon. I looked at him with disgust, how dare him asked such question. Filet Mignon and Bacon on the same dish, , jeez, please. WHAT? How did the Brazilians invent a dish with two of the world's greatest entities? All of a sudden I was mind-boggled by their intelligence.

Is your mouth watering yet? Oh I'm just getting started. It gets better. The waiter proceeded with questions such as "would you like some Parmesan Pork Loin? Sausage? Top Siroloin? Bottom Siroloin? Pork Ribs? Beef Ribs? Garlic Beef? Tri-Tip? Rib-Eye? Lamb Chop? BBQ Chicken?" I had to tell him to stop because he was way too much. l I would of got on one knee and popped the question had he being a girl, he couldn't say anything wrong, it was great.

Meat is not the reason why Fogo De Chao is the best Brazilian BBQ restaurant around. The speed of which the meat arrives at your dinner table is the reason why this place rocks (Mother, please don't read this). I have been dealing with chewing problems all my life, never excelled in chewing my food. I dismantle meals quick. At Fogo I feel paradise. I am completely vulnerable by opening myself up in this blog: When I am there, I feel like I am the person in that Corona commercial.

Service, excellente. Scene, bueno. Wine Selection (if you enjoy a nice bottle with your meal), muy mejor. The price is $$$$. If you are looking for the same satisfaction (which you won't find) for a lesser buck, there is the Picanha restaurant in Burbank. Your selection may be restricted and the quality of meat is a slight downgrade, but still a satisfying experience. By the way, my idol, my hero, my mentor, my worship, lives in Picanha, which is a blog in its own.

Do you see why I've never seen the red marker? Red represents the evil. Last advice, make sure you belong to a health/fitness club if you pursue this adventure.